Being a Black, Conservative Woman at 38

Being a Black woman comes with assumptions.Being a woman in her late 30s comes with expectations.But being a Black, 38-year-old conservative woman? That comes with judgment—often before I’ve even opened my mouth.

I didn’t choose my political beliefs to be provocative. I didn’t wake up one day and decide to disappoint people. My values formed through life experience, faith, observation, and a deep belief in personal responsibility, freedom of thought, and accountability. Still, the moment people hear the word conservative, walls go up.

I’ve lost friendships.I’ve had family members distance themselves.I’ve been talked about, laughed at, and labeled.

Not because I’m cruel. Not because I lack empathy. But because I don’t fit the narrative people expect from someone who looks like me.

What hurts the most isn’t disagreement—it’s dismissal. Being told I’m “confused,” “brainwashed,” or “betraying my own people.” As if my race automatically assigns my beliefs. As if I’m not capable of thinking for myself.

Let me be very clear about something.

Just because I’m conservative does not mean I hate gay people.

That assumption is lazy—and wrong.

I believe every human being deserves dignity and respect. I don’t walk around wishing harm on anyone. I don’t support violence, discrimination, or cruelty. I have loved ones, acquaintances, and people I care about who are part of the LGBTQ community.

Yes, I have made comments out of anger in the past. I own that. Those moments came after being mocked, laughed at, and belittled—specifically when people thought it was acceptable to ridicule figures like Charlie Kirk simply because I didn’t join in. My reactions were human, not perfect, and not rooted in hate—but in frustration at being constantly disrespected.

And here’s another thing that matters to me:

I do not blame an entire community for the actions of individuals.

Holding individuals accountable is not the same as condemning an entire group. That distinction gets ignored far too often. Disagreement is allowed. Boundaries are allowed. Calling out disrespect is allowed.

What isn’t fair is being reduced to a caricature.

Being conservative has cost me relationships—but it’s also clarified who truly values me for who I am. I’ve learned that real connection doesn’t require ideological sameness; it requires mutual respect. And if someone can’t offer that, then maybe the distance is a painful but necessary truth.

I am Black.I am a woman.I am 38.And I am conservative.

None of those things cancel the others out. And none of them make me hateful.

This blog is my space to speak honestly, thoughtfully, and without apology. You don’t have to agree with me—but you do have to acknowledge that my voice, my experience, and my perspective are valid.

Even when I stand alone.